Single and desperate

Have you ever felt hopeless? Have you ever felt that you have to find a solution right now? Have you ever thought that if you don’t do something, if you don’t take a step, your life will be over ? Lot’s daughters did. They were desperate. They wanted to preserve their family line and there was no man around to lie with them. They needed to act, to find a solution. They decided to sleep with their father. He was the only man around. They acted and they got the children they wanted. Genesis 19: 30-38
Why were they so desperate? Why am I sometimes so desperate? Is it  really because there is no solution to my problem? Or is it because I want my solution, a solution I find normal?  Lot’s daughter wanted so much to be like everyone else that they didn’t look far. Genesis 19: 31 They could have asked their father to find partners for them. Abraham family wasn’t too far away. Only, they didn’t. What if he had said no? What if the men from Abraham’s family didn’t want to be with them? What if…? They took no chances.  They so wanted to be normal. They were willing to pay the price to get it their way.
I feel desperate when I want my life to be “ as is the custom all over the earth.” I want to have a normal life: a husband, children, the job…. the right one. I spent my week envying one of my co-worker. She has everything I wish I had: the career I thought I should have, children, husband, shape, blue eyes, fair-hair…
I was looking for solutions to be more like her. However, the more I was looking the more things were getting complicated. I was confused and desperate until God told me gently : ” A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.Proverbs 14:30
He explained me that my peace was gone because I stopped looking at the Prince of peace. My problem was not my issues, though they are real. My problem was that I wanted peace “as the world gives.John 14:27  I wanted my life to be ” as is the custom all over the earth.” I blamed my godly choices. I thought I became christian too young. Fortunately, God reminded me that His way is always the best. So even if my life looks strange, even if I am different, may His will be done. Always.

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