Self-esteem according to Christ(1)

You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. (Isaiah 62:3)

Self-esteem or confidence in one’s own worth or abilities is very trendy. How we assess our worth, how we judge ourselves and our attitude toward us are deemed to be the reason we success or fail.

I have a very low self-esteem and many people tried to help me view myself differently in the past. I tried different things on my own. But even if there were some improvements, there was no radical change.  Then Christ came into that weakness of mine. He began to teach me what true self-esteem was and how to assess myself.

He told me things as:

  • You are a sinner.
  • You can do nothing apart for me.
  • Everything you have (skills, qualities, beauty), you received them.
  • You are an unworthy servant.
  • You are undeserving.

But also:

  • I planned you.
  • I chose you.
  • I love you with an everlasting love.
  • You are the apple of my eyes.
  • I died out of love for you.
  • I will never forsake you or leave you alone.
  • Through me, you can do anything.

It is not always easy to believe those last truths. But I know that when I completely do, I will be able to walk with my head held high, outside and inside.

Yes, my success and my failure depend on my self-esteem, but not on a self-esteem based on my abilities or qualities, on a self-esteem based on who Christ is and on whom I am in Him.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

 

 

Advertisements

Beauty-giver?

Months ago, I decided to bring beauty in this world instead of complaining about the ugliness of everything. I decided to be a beauty-giver. But I quickly learned that there is a big difference between dreaming of being a beauty-giver when lying on my couch and giving beauty.

When my coworkers began to bully me, I locked myself into my fears, making things even worse. No beauty came from that.  When I had to keep going to work even though things were getting worse, I let my fears lead me on roads of loneliness and stress. I could not see God, His love, His care in the midst of oppression.

Then God reminded me of who I was. I was His, meaning I am never alone. He is always there and there is a great big family around me. I don’t think so many people have ever prayed for me before. People have been praying for me from all around the world. And beauty I was not able to give has come to me through words of encouragement and grace, through other’s testimonies, faith, strength, and trust. I am easily frightened by what is frightening, but I have an army carrying me beyond fears and threats. I am not alone. I am a citizen of heaven and a member of the family of God, and for that, my heart is filled with gratitude, and I can smile, and through it bring beauty into this world.

And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. (Ephesians 2:17-22)

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. (1 Peter 3:3-6)

Finding beauty

But even when I was seeking for God’s true beauty, I did it all wrong. I worked hard to attained perfection with my own strength. I was tired and frustrated, and sure that God did not love me or was not fair. Until I heard Him whispering “grace”. Grace is the key to true beauty. Grace gives strength to be a seeker. Grace gives eyes to see, a heart to understand. Grace shows the source of beauty. Grace helps us rest on beauty, the real one.

When life is ugly, when people seem more horrible than before, grace leads us to that place of beauty, where love reigns and where mercy abounds; where we are welcomed as we are and changed to be more like Christ. Grace gives strength to keep going when your heart does not want to beat anymore. Grace says, “You are welcomed, protected, guarded, loved and taken care of… always!

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” … (Revelation 21:1-6)

 

You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. (Isaiah 62:3)

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18)

In search of beauty…

For many years I have been looking for beauty (peace, goodness, love, generosity, honesty, loyalty) everywhere. I moved from places to places, hoping that the next one would be the right place. After decades of searching, I finally understood what God has been whispering in my heart. There is no beauty except in and through Him.

Searching for beauty has led me in the wrong places, with the wrong people. There were hurts and dramas, but always life and hope because of Christ. Is there beauty in the world? Of course, yes. But in the right places, those places where God has sown it in His creation, in His creatures. Outside God, there is no beauty, but through Him there is abundance of beauty for everyone who looks at Him and hopes in Christ. Trough His eyes, we won’t even notice what only appears beautiful, but we will admire and commend what is truly beautiful even if it appears ugly.

And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. (Matthew 6:28-29)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

 

Beauty

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV)

Life is hard. We see our dreams fly away and sometimes it seems like hope is nowhere to be found. There are so many things we need and desire, so many things that we have asked for again and again. There are so many things that hurt us, so many things that threaten to destroy us.  And we almost forget the beauty of life, the beauty of beholding the glory of God, the beauty of being transformed into His image. Whatever your life looks like today, even if it looks ugly, there is beauty in it. Open your eyes and your heart and behold it!