He carried our infirmities

He had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:2-5 ESV)

I was reminded today that Jesus understands everything I go through emotionally because He experienced all the feelings, hurts, rejections, etc. I have ever experienced. When I feel despised, depressed, distressed, alone, tired, or abandoned by God, He understands. And because He does, I can approach God with confidence in my weakness, my brokenness, and my fears. I can cry out of despair or anger, and I will never be rejected. This is also what the cross means.

Jesus the Great High Priest Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16 ESV)


Reasons to dance

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16

I read a lot about depression today.

I went to see my family doctor and she asked me to do some blood tests. While waiting to do them, I was feeling down. Not depressed just down. I had my reasons. My life sometimes seems to be a joke. Some days  it feels like everything I do is vain. And I have been sick for 10 days. And, just by accident, there is on the wall near the lab an ad explaining what depression is. And of course I had all the symptoms.

So I spent the beginning of the evening depressed. Not down anymore, but really feeling depressed. I read articles about Christian depression and how to deal with. Of course there was not a real solution for me. Then the Holy Spirit, my Counselor, my Helper, stepped in and advised me to bring my feelings to the Father in prayer. It was not easy. I knew I should pray. I planned to pray, but praying is so difficult to do when I need it. So, carried by God’s grace, I finally asked for help to pray and God, in His mercy, made me pray. And it was good. So good.

I was honest and I asked for help. I asked for help for everything, from joy to hope and happiness until my heart, my mind and my thoughts changed. I asked for help because the Holy Spirit never ceases to remind me that I can draw near the throne of grace to receive help in my moments of need.

Even though I felt like when I need help God never helps, the Holy Spirit did not stop whispering that it is a promise and that it is always true. So I asked for help. And I have been helped. After my prayer, I had energy to cook and dance. Not a lot. I get tired easily those days. But I danced and loved it. And I will dance again. I will dance because I have reasons for. First I have a Father who loves me and cares for me and listens to me (1 Peter 5:6-7; John 16:26-27). Then I have a redeemer who lives and intercedes for me (Hebrews 7:23-25). Also I am never alone. My Counsellor is always with me (John 14:15-18). And… one day, soon, I will begin my eternity of everlasting joy (Revelation 21: 1-4).