Love so high!

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. (Romans 5: 6-11 ESV)

What a love! It is not just about being loved without reasons, it is about being loved despite all reasons. We were sinners, unrighteous. We had no desire to be with God, no desire to do His will, no desire to glorify His name, and He decided to find a way to be with us. He decided that He would fight for us and paid the price required to save us and bring us under the canopy of His love.

That is love! I confess I don’t understand God’s love most of the time. I don’t understand why and how He does what He does. My life seems to be an example of Romans 11:33, “ Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” But when I doubt, when the ground shakes under my feet, remembering that He loved me that way, when I was against Him, quiets me.

That is what His love does. That is true love. A love despite and even if. A love that takes the initiative, always.

“Fear, don’t believe and you will be well”

So often when we read the Bible, we read our own words instead of reading what God is saying. And we wonder why our faith is not increasing, why we are not changing, why we have no power. We begin to doubt God and His power. We doubt His willingness to help us, to transform us. It seems like we fight with all our strength and nothing happens.
I have been there so many times, crying and wondering where God is. Sometimes it feels like God does not see me. Should I wave my hands, jump, yell to be noticed by the one whose “eyes run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward Him.” (2 Chronicles 16:9)? I tried so many times so many things to capture God’s attention. And He kept telling me: “Without faith it is impossible to please me” (Hebrews 11:6) and “Faith comes from hearing my Word” (Romans 10:17).
So when God says in Ephesians 1:4 that He chose me before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before Him, I used to hear: “Anne, I need you to be holy, but I will not lift the little finger to help you unless you give me a good reason to do so.”
So I spent time trying to convince God to transform me into Christ’s likeness, to use me for His glory, to accept me and not to reject me. Of course, when Jesus says He will never reject whoever comes to Him (John 6:37), I always read, “except you, Anne.”
So when He said to Jairus: “Do not fear; only believe, and she will be well”, I read that we should worry, panic and doubt to expect to be well. Then I did not understand why I was not well.
It makes all the difference to hear Christ’s words. To hear and believe that His goal is to make us holy and blameless, that He prepared good works for us to do beforehand (Ephesians 2:10), that He wanted us so much in His family that He willingly adopted us (Ephesians 1:5). To hear Christ gives peace and freedom and our soul can finally enjoy the rest He promised (Matthew 11:29).
The King of kings, the sovereign LORD loves me. He died for me when I was the most “unlovable” possible and therefore He will not stop loving me, never. When I hear this truth instead of “ I will not love you until you become a better person, until you are holier”, I feel safe and quiet (Romans 5:6-11). Then I can be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).